I am in a mixed marriage, although my husband isn't religious, so that helps. I think that you walk a very fine line when you take the position with your child that his mom is "wrong." It sets him up to defend his mom, and to defend himself. We spend so much time teaching our children to stand up for thier beliefs, and it can be confusing for them to hear that they are wrong, especially when they are being taught they are right by another parent.

In your situation, it's important to encourage free thought and teach your child how to apply reason and logic to every situation. If raised to believe that they are responsible for their own moral code, molded by the application of reason and logic to life situations, they will eventually apply those tools to religion.

Teach your child about the historicity of religious belief. Begin with ancient mythology. Creation myths are actually fascinating subjects. Read about Hercules and compare his story to the Jesus myth. Isn't it interesting how similar all of the stories are? There is no better way to hook a five year old with science than learning about dinosaurs and bugs. Weather is a great lesson for an older whild. Are the angels bowling, or is thunder actually lightning breaking the sound barrier? Is a tornado the wrath of god, or do they develop in some cumulonimbus clouds based on specific conditions? Look online for science experiment ideas. Even four year olds will be hooked with fun experiments.

The object is to raise free thinkers, not athiests. How disappointing would it be if our children grew up to accept atheism simply because we told them so? I would rather my children question me and come to their disbelief on their own, rather than simply accept what I had applied years of study to determine.

Good luck and welcome!

I have not insisted to him that I am right and he is wrong even though he insisted that he and his mum are right and I am wrong. I let it go instead of polarising it further.

Children under seven tend to be very dogmatic and tend to see everything in black and white absolutes and they also tend to be self-centred, self-absorbed, selfish and self-righteous and totally lack insight regarding the problems with being any of these.

Frankly, I wouldn't present to your son his mom's faith as "just stories people made up". It comes across as condescending and puts it into a contest between whether mom (and her family and your son) or dad is wrong. It may be better to empathize with him in agreeing that "many people believe that [Jesus is the son of god, etc.] but other people have other beliefs". And by all means expose him to the alternatives (interesting stories from Islam [I assume that's you parent's faith], Hinduism, Greek Mythologies, etc.) You may even want to focus on the morals of the praiseworthy Bible stories (lots of positive philosophy in the New Testament) since you in-law's Christianity seems to be of the brimstone-and-hell kind.

With this approach, dad clearly is NOT wrong (since there are people that have other beliefs). And by exposing him to a large variety of cultures/beliefs, it will remove the uniqueness of the maternal family's Christianity.

That's why they are so much fun. I love my 5yo and her convictions.

Remember, that you too grew up in an religious environment and managed to mature out of it. Your son will likely reach that point as well - just don't expect it to necessarily happen at his current age.

To me, as a non-believer, it doesn't really matter whether Jesus was a mythologized real person or whether he never existed at all (my unscientific assumption is that he did exist). It's about as important to me as whether today's Santa Claus is derived from St. Nicholas of Myra or from the Anglo-Saxon god Woden (my unscientific assumption is that it's a synthesis of those two and other traditions).

But with respect to my 5yo, I treat both of them kind of the same. For her, they both "exist" and she can see their effects in the world (going to church with grandma, leaving cookies at the fireplace on Xmas eve). I don't go out of my way to clarify that they are both inventions. I expect that she'll get there eventually (presumably sooner with Santa).

As far as leaving your faith being traumatic - I can somewhat relate. But I would think your child is growing up in a different environment than you were which should make it easier. I don't know much about Bangladesh of your childhood, but I would imagine it was quite homogeneous as far as religion is concerned (Islam being the state religion). I'm guessing that your child is growing up in a much more pluralistic environment in Scotland (at a minimum, he's related to Christians, Muslims and an agnostic humanist) and you can help by widening his horizons without pitting yourself against his mom's beliefs.

I know that my daughter is exposed to much more religious diversity than I ever was as a child (I really had to wait for college for that, though by that time I was well on my way into questioning the faith I was raised in). We read a lot together, and I go out of my way to get her books from library with stories from other cultures and religions and with non-traditional families (that's my humanism at play).

FWIW, we've got two girls (1yo and 5yo) and they have Catholic grandparents on both sides of the family (my wife is more of a cultural Catholic), though none of them are very hard-core or into dictating their beliefs. I had some interesting conversations with my wife's cousins (in their 20s) over Christmas and learned that both had abandoned their religion (one a complete atheist and the other probably a Jeffersonian deist or agnostic).

So yeah, it happens more than you may think and it is easier for the next generations. But I wouldn't really stress about it at his early age.

My husband and I are both American, although I am Irish-born and was adopted by an ethnically Italian family, so I also grew up looking very different than the rest of my family. Try being the pasty-white, red-headed freckled kid in a family of dark-haired, olive complected siblings. My husband and I consider ourselves "mixed" philosophically and religiously (although I consider them to be one and the same.) He's a non-practicing catholic (more to do with his Italian heritage, although he does believe in a personal god) but American catholics are much more liberal than other christian religions. Catholics have a high rate of "conversions." It helps that catholics don't read the Bible, and are taught that Biblical stories are moral lessons, not necessarily historical fact. Also, the catholic church accepts evolution.

My children have gone through various stages of belief, depending on who their friends are, what they see out in the community, and how many religious events we attended for the family throughout the previous months. When they were 7, they all wanted to make a first communion so they could have a big party. Most kids will reflect the personality/preferences of their closest friends at one point or another, so don't worry about those influences. They come and go, but you will be a constant in your child's life.

Although my in-laws are fundamentalist evangelical Christians. They believe in demons and exorcisms. My wife, son and I have already been exorcised. In fact, my wife was exorcised even before we knew each other. She is from Northern Ireland, you see.

To be honest, I have no personal experience with this type of Christianity, so maybe you do need to be more proactive with your son. To compare, none of our religious relatives talk to our children of demons or burning in hell and I would take a large issue with that if they did.

Could you elaborate about what the religious implications are of your wife being "from Northern Ireland"? I always thought that the protestantism in Northern Ireland was of the Anglican or Calvinist kind and their biggest beef was with Catholicism. And I suspected that the protestant/catholic clashes in Norther Ireland were more of a historical/political rather than theological nature. This doesn't sound like what your wife's family comes from (here faith sounds like something I'd expect in some parts of the southern US).

FWIW, when you read about problems in Northern Ireland (here in the US) they just say "protestants" without elaborating.