© Glendon Mellow, The Flying Trilobite

The Passion of the Frost


Move while you still see me
You’ll be lost, you’ll be so sorry, when I’m gone.

Jesus Christ, in Jesus Christ Superstar

So he said, “Let’s run and we’ll have some fun
now before I melt away.”

Frosty the Snowman

Last time I drew a parallel between God and Santa. This time we unveil an even more shocking truth: that Frosty the Snowman and Jesus the Christ are one and the same.

Oh you heard me.

Jesus was born improbably (via virgin), loved everyone unconditionally, then saved humanity by sacrificing himself on the cross as Mary wept. He was resurrected and joined God in Heaven.

Frosty was born improbably (via magic hat), loved everyone unconditionally, then saved a little girl by sacrificing himself in a greenhouse. Karen wept over the puddle he had become, then he was resurrected and flew to the “North Pole” with (ahem) “Santa.”

The corker? They both promise a Second Coming:

Do not let your hearts be troubled…I will come back.
Jesus (John 14:1-3)

Don’t you cry, I’ll be back again someday.

Why, it’s practically Narnia in top hat and carrot.



This was written on Friday, 18. December 2009 at 23:35 and was filed under holidays and celebrations, humor, myths. You can keep up with the comments to this article by using the RSS-Feed.

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Comments »

  1. Thanks Dale! Tears came to my eyes I laughed so hard. Wonderful parrallel! 🙂

    Comment: NyssaBurks – 19. December 2009 @ 9:42 am

  2. This is perfect! I’ve already told my son that I think God is the grown-ups’ version of Santa, so I’ll definitely have to share this one with him.

    Comment: codysmom – 19. December 2009 @ 12:46 pm

  3. LOL! Thanks 🙂

    Comment: Shannon – 19. December 2009 @ 6:28 pm

  4. Wow, the silk hat takes on a whole other meaning. Is Frosty meant to be King of the Snowmen? Was he being mocked?

    “Frosty the snowman is a fairy tale, they say,
    He was made of snow but the children
    Know how he came to life one day…”

    Thanks for the revelations.

    Comment: Lynne – 20. December 2009 @ 4:40 pm

  5. Something along similar lines, for Dale et al:
    Lying about Santa: The Irrelevance of Proof to the Holiday Spirit”

    Comment: JJ Ross – 21. December 2009 @ 6:32 pm

  6. @JJ: Thank you a thousand times for that one. I’ll have to read it again to get all the juice, but there’s so much there. My youngest is at the moment living proof of his thesis that evidence and argument are irrelevant at this point in her climb out of Santa’s bag. They are shoved to the side cortically until at last, they aren’t, and the desire to know trumps the desire to believe. It’s that powerful and useful transition that I want my kids to experience.

    The article is also the clearest exposition of a point I’ll be making in a coming “Can You Hear Me Now?” post — that argument and evidence are generally ineffective against religious belief, which is why we should devote some large portion of our debunking energies to more effective ways of being heard.

    Comment: Dale – 22. December 2009 @ 8:37 am

  7. “Her climb out of Santa’s bag” — you really have a way with words! You ought to write and give inspirational speeches or something, oh wait . . . 😀

    Comment: JJ Ross – 22. December 2009 @ 8:41 am

  8. I’m seriously LOL’ing.

    And curse you! You’ve ruined Frosty for me now! 😉

    Comment: Dan Gilbert – 22. December 2009 @ 10:09 am

  9. This makes me think of “The Hero with a Thousand Faces”, Joseph Campbell – a book that’s on my shelf waiting to be read. Our mythologies are found everywhere. 😉

    Comment: Hugo – 23. December 2009 @ 7:35 pm

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