© Glendon Mellow, The Flying Trilobite

27. My disappearing kids

(Post 27 of 33 in my 16-hour shift for the Secular Student Alliance Blogathon.)

9:00 pm EDT

Some MoL readers have noticed that there aren’t as many stories about my kids on the blog as there once were. It’s not your imagination.

Two good reasons for this. The first is that they are older now, including two teenagers, and I’m more aware of the need to protect their personal privacy. Now, whenever I do want to share something that happened to them, as I did two weeks ago, I ask if it’s OK first. Usually it is, but sometimes they’d rather I didn’t. And sometimes it’s obvious that I shouldn’t even ask. You’ve missed out on a thing or two that might have been useful, but there was no question about sharing it.

The second reason for their lower appearance rate is that so many of the issues related to secular parenting that were in the fore when they were younger are now in the past. We’ve been through religious literacy in a dozen ways; we’ve explored and experienced death together; they’ve collided with other worldviews and figured out how to communicate across lines of difference; we’ve ironed out most of the extended family dynamics that needed ironing. There’s certainly more ahead, and you’ll hear about it when it’s appropriate. But it’ll never be as much as it was.

My feeling at this stage of parenting is one of deep contentment. Things have gone really well. All three kids are deeply good, smart, compassionate and unique. Like Billy Joel after he married Christie Brinkley and started writing crap like “Uptown Girl,” I sometimes worry that my equanimity won’t fire the forge quite as much as my earlier struggles did.

Whatever. I’m a big fan of equanimity. I’m also a big fan of writing and of parenting. My guess is I’ll find more to say.

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This was written on Sunday, 10. June 2012 at 21:06 and was filed under Uncategorized. You can keep up with the comments to this article by using the RSS-Feed.

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