Move while you still see me
You’ll be lost, you’ll be so sorry, when I’m gone.
Jesus Christ, in Jesus Christ Superstar
So he said, “Let’s run and we’ll have some fun
now before I melt away.”
Frosty the Snowman
Last time I drew a parallel between God and Santa. This time we unveil an even more shocking truth: that Frosty the Snowman and Jesus the Christ are one and the same.
Oh you heard me.
Jesus was born improbably (via virgin), loved everyone unconditionally, then saved humanity by sacrificing himself on the cross as Mary wept. He was resurrected and joined God in Heaven.
Frosty was born improbably (via magic hat), loved everyone unconditionally, then saved a little girl by sacrificing himself in a greenhouse. Karen wept over the puddle he had become, then he was resurrected and flew to the “North Pole” with (ahem) “Santa.”
The corker? They both promise a Second Coming:
Do not let your hearts be troubled…I will come back.
Jesus (John 14:1-3)
Don’t you cry, I’ll be back again someday.
Why, it’s practically Narnia in top hat and carrot.