by Dale McGowan
[Third and final installment of the cover story in the current issue of Secular Nation. Back to part 1 and part 2.]
But what do we need to do to move farther? For one thing, we need to serve the needs of people who are quite different from Harry.
Harry was a freethought pioneer because he did not have the same needs or wants as most other people. He was able to leave the church behind because he was exceptional in this way. When people talk to me about the need for community or wax poetic about “something larger than myself” or seeking the “spiritual side” of life, my eyes glaze over. I mutter something about all the other ways in which I achieve community, about how I walk in the woods to get in touch with the transcendent, and so on. It’s all a tad forced. The truth is that I don’t feel these needs in quite the way I hear others express them.
As a result, I and all the rest of those with Harry personalities — whether male or female, and of whatever age or ethnicity — get together and talk quite happily about science and truth and reason. It’s not me I’m worried about—it’s Sally, left standing awkwardly by the coffee urn for ten paragraphs now.
Desperate for something to do, she ambles over to a table of books for sale. Every book without exception is about science, philosophy, critical thinking, or the debunking of religion or the paranormal. She meekly drifts to a group in conversation. Some religious dogma or other is being debunked with a flurry of critical argument and a smug, chuckling sneer.
Is there anything in the world less bearable than smugness, whether religious or secular? Anything?
I don’t know if I can keep up, she thinks. Rather than being welcomed into an accepting community, she has the distinct feeling she’d better watch what she says, lest she reveal some substandard thinking. Most of all, she is painfully aware that the chuckling sneer is directed at who she was the previous week.
The meeting begins to coalesce. After a few announcements, the speaker is introduced. And what will our new visitor hear for the next 45 minutes? Here’s a quick sampling of recent freethought meeting topics around the country:
- Jesus of Nazareth—Historical, Mythical, or Some of Each?
Religion as a Natural Phenomenon
Revelation Trumped by the Constitution
The Enlightenment and the Self
Who Wrote the Gospels?
Church/State—Strict Separation or Accommodation?
Debate: “To Believe or Not to Believe”
I’m interested in every one of these topics. Of course I am—I’m Harry. Sally though, not so much. If she comes again and has the same experience—an indifferent reception, an atmosphere of critical disdain, and a debunking lecture—the third time will rarely be a charm. Our brilliant, attractive outreach efforts will have been in vain.
I’ve heard it protested that I’m comparing apples and oranges. Freethought groups are not churches. They can’t be. This is true, of course—but if our prospective members seem to be allergic to oranges, might it be wise to take a closer look at them apples?
Rather than being welcomed into an accepting community, she has the distinct feeling she’d better watch what she says, lest she reveal some substandard thinking. Most of all, she is painfully aware that the chuckling sneer is directed at who she was the previous week.
________________________________
A recent post by SecularFuture, a moderator on the Internet Infidels discussion board, summed it up very well:
Religious communities are often filled with social events, music, poetry, inspiration, and life advice. It can be very difficult for someone to give all of this up for a few science books, Internet forums, and an arsenal of ammunition to use against the religious. Where is the poetry? Where is the inspiration?… Although many of us have already found meaning without religion, we should probably try to help those who haven’t.1 [Emphasis added.]
Fortunately, and at long last, many groups across the country are doing just that—expanding their topics, improving the atmosphere of their meetings, and turning to ever-greater involvement in good works. In addition to sponsoring a strip of highway, Secular Humanists of the Lowcountry began a marvelous “revolving charities” campaign last September, designating one charity each quarter as a spotlight beneficiary. In less than a year, thousands of dollars have gone toward orphan relief, domestic violence support services, medical research, and a residential facility for troubled youth. A few other groups are doing likewise. And from Portland to Albuquerque to Raleigh, nonreligious parenting groups and ethical education programs for kids are springing up, adding a family focus, more gender equity, and young blood.
The future of outreach
In one way, I worry that our current positive outreach efforts are too friendly—that they advertise a kinder, gentler freethought than actually exists yet on the ground. I hope both the sizzle and the steak can progress in tandem toward an even more humanistic future. I’d like to see soup kitchen, food pantry, and Habitat volunteering2 added to the freeway cleanups. I’d like to see a Tree of Compassion to complement the Tree of Knowledge. And I’d like to see a future billboard that moves beyond the lovely “you are not alone” to “you are warmly welcomed, just the way you are!”
“The good life,” said Bertrand Russell, “is inspired by love and guided by knowledge.” Thanks to Harry, we’ve got knowledge tackled. In the interest of Sally, and the millions like her, it’s time to match our beautiful outreach efforts with greater emphasis on compassion, emotion, humanity, and love.
[N.B. Though I’ve tried to make it explicit throughout this article, I feel the need to reiterate that both Harry and Sally are archetypes. There is certainly gender, age, and ethnic variation on both sides. But I think it is especially important to recognize that organized freethought tends older, whiter, and maler than the population average.]
_____________
1Thread begun by forum moderator SecularFuture.
2 All of which are currently done by a few locals, and kudos to them.
I greatly enjoyed reading this series and will share it with all the folks here who don’t read this blog. Thank you, Dale, for bringing this incredibly important issue to light. While I am like you and enjoy those discussions on religion and philosophy, I know many who are not. The challengee is for those of us who recognize this problem to get out of our comfort zones and actively try to provide activities that will be enjoyable by all. Much easier said than done, I’m afraid.
Comment: jcornelius – 25. June 2008 @ 10:07 am
I like these posts. It’s very true the difference between Harry and Sally. My wife and I are the perfect example. We are both atheists. I read atheist/science material all the time, my wife almost never. She wants that something more that god used to give her; the community, the purpose, the reassurance, and the feeling of belonging. I’m sure that is one of the main driving forces that keeps churches around. Without it I think next week on Sunday all churches would close.
I still haven’t figured out how to fulfill those needs with atheism. I’m thinking of starting a group, but don’t really know how to go about it. I especially don’t want it to turn into a drab religion bashing party. Maybe coffee at the local coffee shop, or an atheist movie night.
Comment: boonxeven – 25. June 2008 @ 10:10 am
I think one of the keys is to forget about using atheism to fulfill needs. Make atheism an incidental fact, like gravity. Being convinced of it doesn’t mean it has to be the centerpiece of our lives or the fuel of our communities. Just get together and find out what we’re looking for as human beings. God then becomes simply absent, like Zeus, whose absence we don’t feel the need to constantly mention.
Comment: Dale – 25. June 2008 @ 10:37 am
“In one way, I worry that our current positive outreach efforts are too friendly—that they advertise a kinder, gentler freethought than actually exists yet on the ground.”
I worry about this too, very much. There is often such an anatgonism towards anything resembling spirtuality or religion (meditation, yoga, eastern philosophies) that I fear we appear hostile towards people who might enjoy a bit of that sort of thing (like me!) One would also assume that atheist groups would greet with open arms those who are generally outcasts of religious groups, such as gays and lesbians, but I wonder if that is actually true either.
Comment: ondfly123 – 25. June 2008 @ 11:55 am
Great article Dale-and so very true. I’m a bit of a Harry/Sally combo. The occasional religous debate/science/debunking is wonderful, but I’m not satisfied with just disproving the other side. I think that is why I occasionally go to the UU church, although that isn’t completely fulfilling either.
There is an atheist meetup group here, but I’ve never attended because I’m put off by the guy that runs the group. He has a website that is just plain mean and antagonistic toward religious people, and has occasionally been interviewed on local conservative talk radio-I suppose he’s the atheist characature of choice here in Cincinnati. He also seems fond of posting half naked pictures of himself. There may very well be some cool people at the meetups, but I’m not sure it’s for me. I do post on the message boards sometimes, so I think I’ll go link this article there!
-Kelly
Comment: matsonwaggs – 25. June 2008 @ 6:04 pm
You might want to think of it as similar to political party independence? I’ve been registered as a nonpartisan for several decades, and of course that means I have no meetings or platform or election rituals. My state (Florida) discriminates against me shamelessly by not letting me vote at all in most local elections, which are dominated by one unopposed party deciding everything in its primaries.
So I’ve been literally a party of one, no meetings or third party efforts, or bashing the other parties. Just politics without party, like love and compassion without religion? My hope — and I think it’s starting to happen finally, aren’t independents nearly a third of the electorate now? — has been for enough of those people half-heartedly going along with the party system to realize that the “party” isn’t the real point, and one certainly can be thoughtful about and engaged in real public policy even with a total “absence” of party. Probably a lot better.
Comment: JJ Ross – 26. June 2008 @ 10:32 am
A terrific analogy.
Comment: Dale – 26. June 2008 @ 12:18 pm
I just came across a Jeffersonian quote in wikipedia, that supports it. 🙂
“I never submitted the whole system of my opinions to the creed of any party of men whatever in religion, in philosophy, in politics, or in anything else, where I was capable of thinking for myself. Such an addiction is the last degradation of a free and moral agent.”
— Letter to Francis Hopkinson (March 13, 1789)
Comment: JJ Ross – 27. June 2008 @ 8:59 am
[…] reaching out to harry AND sally (3 of 3) Religious communities are often filled with social events, music, poetry, inspiration, and life advice. It can be very difficult for someone to give all of this up for a few science books, Internet forums, and an arsenal of ammunition … […]
Pingback: reaching out to harry AND sally (3 of 3) – 07. July 2008 @ 6:41 pm
Dale,
I loved this series of posts. In part due to their humility and acknowledgment of our (the collective groups of Freethinkers / UUers / Secular Humanists, etc….) lack of experience in being an appealing social community.
My husband and I are lucky to attend a small UU group in New Zealand. Unfortunately it has many of the issues you’ve listed, and a few oppositional ones as well. The group is small (tick one for Dale), and almost entirely comprised of elderly men (tick two). My husband and I are the youngest members, in our mid 20s. And the next youngest are a small family of four — parents in their mid 30’s. Their two children make up the only minors, and thus, when visitors with kids come along, they are quickly disappointed to learn that the “Freethought Childrens Program” consists of letting the infants roam around the room haphazardly during the service. I think attractive childrens programs are a BIG need within our wider community of freethinkers.
Unlike your posts, we are often frustrated by our group’s lack of in-depth critical thinking. It seems like we’re often skimming the surface of otherwise complex issues; and because of the mismashed sets of beliefs within our UU group, we occasionally thread on topics that (for lack of a better word) are “new-age-y” or essentialist in some form or fashion. (“What is essential woman-ness?”, touch therapy for healing, etc.). We value the diversity in the group, but there are times where it feels like we’re peddling to a “Chicken Soup for the Atheist’s / New Age Experimenters Soul” which seem to include an array of speculative feel good messages, but a ultimately lacks the freethought that we enjoy.
It seems all our groups are plagued by needing balance between the “hard” academic dialogues, the diverse membership, and creating a warm and inviting community.
Thanks for these thoughts. I always love your blog.
Expat in New Zealand
Comment: expatinnewzealand – 16. July 2008 @ 8:07 pm
Thanks for those kind words.
It’s both comforting and depressing to know that the shortcomings of freethought are global. But I do think we’re turning the corner.
Comment: Dale – 16. July 2008 @ 8:25 pm
[…] I’ve written before about community and the poor job freethought groups generally do at creating it. Some get close, but it always seems to fall a bit short of the sense of community that churches so often create for their members. And I don’t think it has a thing to do with God. […]
Pingback: The Meming of Life » Not that it’s a competition, but… Parenting Beyond Belief on secular parenting and other natural wonders – 02. April 2009 @ 6:36 pm
… [Trackback]…
[…] Read More here: parentingbeyondbelief.com/blog/?p=258 […]…
Trackback: Homepage – 17. January 2012 @ 10:50 pm
… [Trackback]…
[…] Informations on that Topic: parentingbeyondbelief.com/blog/?p=258 […]…
Trackback: asian porn – 18. January 2012 @ 11:50 am
The Meming of Life…
Hello! I could have sworn I�€™ve been to this blog before but after browsing through some of the post I realized it�€™s new to me. Anyways, I�€™m definitely happy I found it and I�€™ll be book-marking and checking back frequently!…
Trackback: bolsas plastico – 16. February 2012 @ 2:29 pm
… [Trackback]…
[…] There you will find 71505 more Infos: parentingbeyondbelief.com/blog/?p=258 […]…
Trackback: deutsche backlinks – 23. February 2012 @ 3:49 pm
…A Friend recommended your blog…
[…]Wow, marvelous weblog structure! How lengthy have you ever been running a blog for?[…]…
Trackback: senuke x review – 27. February 2012 @ 9:50 pm
…Click here for or more Information…
[…]you made running a blog glance[…]…
Trackback: Anes – 01. March 2012 @ 12:00 pm
…A Friend recommended your blog…
[…]Excellent weblog right here! Additionally your site quite a bit up very fast![…]…
Trackback: Aleksandar – 11. March 2012 @ 9:16 pm
…Recent Blogroll Additions…
[…]Great weblog right here! Additionally your website loads up very fast![…]…
Trackback: Anisse – 17. March 2012 @ 2:59 pm
…A Friend recommended your blog…
[…]Great weblog right here! Additionally your website rather a lot up very fast![…]…
Trackback: mannequin homme photo – 22. March 2012 @ 3:38 am
… [Trackback]…
[…] Read More: parentingbeyondbelief.com/blog/?p=258 […]…
Trackback: httpworldofwarcraftgoldcom – 24. March 2012 @ 5:55 am
Trackback…
[…]Nice blog here! Also your website a lot up fast![…]…
Trackback: parfüm – 07. April 2012 @ 5:27 am
…Click here for or more Information…
[…]I am now not sure where you are getting your info, however good topic.[…]…
Trackback: Çorba Tarifleri – 07. April 2012 @ 8:57 am
…Websites you should visit…
[…]Wow, marvelous weblog format! How lengthy have you ever been running a blog for?[…]…
Trackback: bitkisel sağlık – 07. April 2012 @ 11:07 am
…Click here for or more Information…
[…]Nice blog here! Also your website lots up fast![…]…
Trackback: sağlık – 07. April 2012 @ 11:34 am
…Check this out…
[…]you made running a blog glance[…]…
Trackback: kadın – 09. April 2012 @ 8:45 am
Vergleichsrechner…
It�s actually a great and useful piece of info. I am glad that you shared this useful information with us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thanks for sharing….
Trackback: Pflanzen kultivieren – 09. April 2012 @ 6:57 pm
I wants to thank you for your endeavors you might have created in publishing this write-up. I’m trusting the exact same finest operate from you inside the long term too. Actually your fanciful writing abilities has inspired me to begin my personal w…
Intimately, the submit is actually the most effective on this valuable subject. I concur together with your conclusions and will eagerly appear forward for a coming updates!…
Trackback: Beats By Dre Earbuds – 20. April 2012 @ 4:26 am
Extremely regularly I go to this website. It extremely very much is pleasant to me. Many thanks the author!…
I saw this actually fantastic post today!…
Trackback: Monster Turbine Pro – 20. April 2012 @ 11:50 pm
Really inspiring publish, Thanks !…
It’s great to have the ability to study a great quality publish with helpful particulars on topics that plenty are interested on. The point that the information indicated are all very first hand on live experiences even assist much more. Carry on doin…
Trackback: Chanel Watches – 23. April 2012 @ 2:57 am
… [Trackback]…
[…] There you will find 75377 more Infos: parentingbeyondbelief.com/blog/?p=258 […]…
Trackback: free credit report – 29. April 2012 @ 4:00 pm